the signs as vines

cxlxstial-leos:

aries: this is how i enter my house… WHAT’S UP FUCKERS

taurus: whaddup im jared and im 19 and i never fucking
learned how to read

gemini: two brooos chillin in a hot tuuuub 5 ft apart cause theyre not gay

cancer: ahh stop i could’ve dropped my croissant

leo: when there’s too much drama at school, all you gotta do is, walk awAyaYaY

virgo: “there’s only one thing thats worse than a rapist. boom” “a child”

libra: hi im renata bliss and im your freestyle dance teacher

scorpio: from the manatee country fair linda carson abc 7 would you not eat my pants?? AGHHHHHH

sagittarius: “are dey helium balloons?” “yeah” “ah for fuck’s sake” “i told ye, the car’s not made for helium balloons” “AHH were flying away”

capricorn: look at- its fucking bats i love halloween

aquarius: can i get a waffle?? can i pLEASE get a waffle???

pisces: look at all those chickens!!