awk-quarius:

(slightly) rude things i need to say to the signs

(((based off of people i deal with on a daily basis, this is JUST for fun pls don’t murder me)))

aries: acting like a hard ass is all fun & games until your emotions take over n make you have a random meltdown in public & you have to go back to convincing yourself & everyone else that ur a cute stone cold shit

taurus: please stop using that monotone ass voice & making corny jokes before i fall in love w you thanks

gemini: whatttttt are you so fickle for? stop it before you fuck around & put me on my meredith grey shit “PICK ME LOVE ME CHOOSE ME” god i wanna marry you

cancer: maybe people wouldn’t feel like they have to walk on eggshells around you if you didn’t hold a 3-year-long grudge about someone drinking the last of the milk you planned on making cereal with that one tuesday morning in february 2008, luv u tho

leo: i love u but literally please let somebody else have the attention for more than 12 seconds & why do u have to talk over me so much

virgo: not everyone you hang out w wants to marry you stop trying to convince yourself of this you cute fuck

libra: wow you are so P®ETTY i deadass want 2 b u but GOD learn some tact

scorpio: the world is not out to get you, melodrama doesn’t have to be your go-to reaction for everything & we don’t need constant social media proof of how bad ur life sucks……….but ur hot n mysterious so good looks bud

sagittarius: ok but forreal where the FUCK are your emotions bro seek guidance bc you damn near had me fall in love & then almost got me put on 48 Hours

capricorn: stability doesn’t make up for complete lack of empathy & hesitancy for affection & like………who hurt u y r u like this

aquarius: fREAKING talk to me & stop making me feel like everything that comes out of my mouth is GIBBERISH i just want to love u

pisces: ur cute ass NEEEEDS to learn to emote like a normal person, straight jackets wouldn’t be a good look for u ok