memes-aree-us:

you might like getting choked but sea turtles don’t so keep your FUCKIN plastic out of the ocean.

justbrosthings:

mom: can you do this chore for me?

me: *doesn’t do it within 0.2 seconds*

mom: *does it for you*

mom: why can’t you ever be responsible

backtodccember:

Taylor Swift and her fans

absurdcachinnation:

bisexualbucky:

ok but why is ‘potato’ always used negatively in phrases? ‘couch potato’ and ‘he looks like a potato’……… what the hell have potatoes ever done to you? potatos are the mvps of the food world, the backbone of many dishes. they never let u down. potatoes are the real winners here and we should feel honoured to be described as one

I can think of at least one time potatoes have let down a very large group of people.

astrolobunny:

libra may twist themselves into fantasies surrounding their relationships and often seek the partner they want instead of the partner they need. the irony is that should libra spend less time attempting to curate their idealized partner, their idealized partner would manifest almost magically. libra has strong mental faculty and the law of attraction would positively work in their favor

hand:

me: theres no reason for me to be anxious right now!!!

my brain: …..debatable